Girls will be Girls

At the shop I work with a lot of women.  All of my co-workers and most of the customers are women.  As anyone who has ever been to girl’s camp knows, there are drawbacks to being around that many females at once.  I’ll admit there are times when I see women at their worst.  But most of the time, I see women at their best.

The nature of women never ceases to amaze me.  There is a natural kindness and affection in women.  Most of the women in the shop have included me in their groups despite the differences in age or circumstances.  Almost as soon as I started working there I have felt like I was working with my aunts.  They have treated me like one of their families.  I have also seen their generous and giving natures.  They generally put others before themselves whether it is just letting a customer go before them in line or making a quilt for a friend that is going through a tough time.  There is a natural tendency for women to nurture others that extends to nearly everyone in there sphere of influence.

There is a trend in today’s post feminist world to believe that women, in order to get the same rights and respect as men, have to become more like men, adopting traits that are stereotypically male, and perhaps, not their best traits.  The trouble with this is that it denies the worth that women already have in and of themselves.  Now, in saying this, I do not wish to come across as anti-feminist.  I sincerely believe that women should have the same opportunities as men, but I believe women can be anything and can do anything that men can while still maintaining those qualities inherent to women.

In one of my theater classes in college my teacher told us that the secret to success is not in being better than everyone else, but in providing that quality in ourselves that is unique to us, something that no one else can have.  No one else can be you as well as you can.  We need to cultivate our own particular qualities.  In doing this we can fill a niche that no one else can.  I believe that this is the case with women.  There is something we as women can provide in the work place and in the world as a whole that no one else can.  Our own natures do not need to be suppressed or altered in order to be equal.  Indeed, it would seem that this struggle to be equal and to have equal worth has erased the worth we already had.

It is a common saying that boys will be boys.  If we are ever to be truly equal, then we must first be equal in this thought and accept the fact that girls will be gi

Perchance to Dream

There seems to be one question that seems to come up when a quilter starts to look at a new project.  That question is this: What If?  What if I were to use this fabric with that pattern?  What if I were to use that fabric as a border or this color as a binding?  What if I were to appliqué a giant flower on top of this piecing?  What if I could make something beautiful, or unique, or amazing?  What if?

“What if” is the beginning of more than just quilts, though.  It is the beginning of dreams.  When we’re young, these questions seem much easier.  What if I were a cowboy?  What if I were a movie star?  What if there could be other worlds in addition to this one that I could visit just by closing my eyes?  What if I could turn myself into whatever I want?

As we get older such dreams become harder.  There is more of a pull to be practical rather than fantastical.  We are supposed to think more about what is real rather then what is imagined.  Arts and literature are pushed aside to make room for math and science.  There are subjects with no room for imagination.  Two plus two always equals four and what goes up always must come down.  They are real.  They are definite.  Yet what could we do with all of that math and science without a little imagination, a little dreams, to show us the way?  After all, these marvelous inventions that we all enjoy today, from cell phones to this lap top that I’m using right now, didn’t they once start as dreams?  There was a time when such things would have been considered impossible, yet because somebody had a dream, they are now just as real as two plus two.

Dreams can have a profound impact on our lives.  Everything we do has to start out as a dream.  Where would we be without them?  More importantly, where would we go without them?  We have to be able to imagine our lives the way we want them, otherwise how will we ever know what we want?  Dreams give our lives direction; give us a goal to strive for.  More than that it gives us hope of what we might one day become or achieve.  It seems as though our society tries so hard to keep our feet planted firmly on the ground that it fails to give us wings to fly.  To quote the song from the musical South Pacific, “You’ve got to have a dream, if you don’t have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true?”  How can we ever reach new heights if we have to keep our feet on the ground?  Where is the joy in life if we can’t reach for our dreams?  What if we were all to dare to dream big?

For the Fun of It

There are many considerations when you consider a profession, but there is one thing that I think is most important: will I enjoy it.  I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, though for all intents and purposes, I am grown already.  But I do know that I want to do something that I enjoy.  I heard once that if you find a job that you love, you will never have to work a day in your life.  This, I suppose, is the reason I have stayed at the quilt shop as long as I have.  I enjoy my job.  It’s fun.

I know there will be many people who look down on reasoning like this.  I have a responsibility to be doing more with my life than just having fun.  There is the consideration of prestige and ambition and money.  One has to grow up, right?  Become a contributing member of society?  To this argument I have one thing to ask.  Does our society need more people making money, or more people who enjoy their lives?  In my opinion, there is too much trust in money and not enough in joy.  Granted, every job will have days (or perhaps weeks or months) when it is a job, a chore, something you just have to get through, but I couldn’t stand to have a job where every day I look forward to the pay check and not the work itself.

There is something to be said for doing something just for the fun of it with no consideration for how much money you make or how “socially acceptable” it may be, which unfortunately seems to be about the same thing anymore.  Don’t be afraid to have fun.  I believe quality of life has less to do with money and the accumulation of stuff, and more to do with fun and joy.

Creativity and Chaos

There is something very satisfying about turning chaos into order.  Taking rough materials and turning them into something beautiful, making something from apparently nothing.   The problem is, you have to have the chaos first.  Every project begins with a mess.  It doesn’t matter how neat you are, there is no way of avoiding it.  It’s like when you clean, you have to make things dirtier before you can make things cleaner.  Quilting works the same way.  I have had many costumers, and even some co-workers, apologies for making a mess in the shop.  Yet I have yet to figure out a better way of doing it.  Sometimes you have to pull every bolt off the shelves before you find the one that you really need.

I will admit that I thrive on a certain degree of chaos, much to the displeasure of my neater roommates; though even my roommate had the same problem when she attempted to sew a dress.  (She didn’t fail, she just hasn’t finished yet.)  As tidy as she is, for some time there was a pile of fabric and pattern pieces in the corner.

Creativity needs chaos.  You have to be able to let yourself make a mess.  There is an old saying that says an immaculate home is a sign of a misspent childhood.  Just as kids need to be free to make a mess sometimes, so do quilters.  There is a freedom `in mess making.  There is a joy in chaos.  There has to be freedom and joy in order to create: freedom to explore, freedom to make mistakes, and freedom to make a mess.

Cookies and Cream

In the new Oreo advertisements there is an ongoing debate about which is the better part of the Oreo, the cookie or the cream.  Of course everyone has their own favorite part and their own opinion on which is best.  My nephew however was able to cut through the chatter and debate with a piece of wisdom that can only come from a child: Both.  The question isn’t cookie or cream, it has to be cookie and cream.  Neither of them is really as good on its own.  The cookie by itself is too bland, the cream is too sweet.  Only when the two come together do we have that classic cookie loved for generations.

This same concept can be used in quilting as well.  There needs to be contrast, light and dark, in every quilt.  True, some quilts will have more contrast than others, but there are still lights, mediums and darks.  Not only does this make the patterns stand out, but it adds interest.  A quilt made only of one color, one hue, and one shade, would not be very interesting to look at, no matter how well the quilt has been pieced.  You need contrast.

In Life we must take the sweet with the sour, the light with the dark, and the good with the bad.  Though sometimes we may wish for a life of more calm tranquility, where things don’t go wrong, shirts don’t get stained, glasses never break, and hearts are never hurt.  But this would be like having just cream with no cookie.  And I think we all know that can only lead to a sticky sweet mess.  Just as we need the light to help us through the times of darkness, we need the darkness to truly appreciate the times of light.  After all, life is like a roller-coaster, without ups and downs, it’s just boring.